Relief
by Freespirit127
Summary: Rain holds special memories for Duke.


**Disclaimer: **None of them are mine. All belong to Hasbro and Marvel and now IDW. Thank you very very much to Amy for the beating, um, beta'ing. ;)

Relief

Rainy days had always been special to him. He loved listening to it and watching it run down the windowpane in small rivulets. As a child, he had loved it even more when his mother asked him to come out with her after the rain had stopped. Together they had run around, jumped in and over the puddles on the ground and breathed in the air.

" Do you smell it?" she had asked him one day.

"Smell what?"

'The air. It smells different. That is the best thing about rain. It gives the plants outside something to drink, it also washes away most of the dirt and dust in the air and from everything else."

"Except daddy's car."

His mother had laughed at that and kissed the top of his head. Then, he had asked: " Does it make_ me_ clean?"

"Well, it can. It can take away all your sorrow and pain, if you let it. Everytime I am sad and it happens to rain that day, I go outside and dance in the rain."

"And then you're happy again?"

"Not always," she'd gently stroked his hair, "but it makes me feel less sad. Especially if I have somebody to dance with me."

Then his mother had suddenly extended her hands to him. He took them and they started to dance between the puddles.

Over the next few years, they had done this countless times, until she had become ill and too weak to do anything but sleep.

The day she died had been a rainy day, just like the one her funeral had been held on. After the ceremony, a lot of his family had wondered why he was outside, dancing through the rain with an invisible partner. He'd never told anybody, not even his father, how much better he had felt after that. The rain made him feel close to his mother, and sometimes, even now, he would swear he could hear her laughter on the wind.

As he grew he'd often gone out into the rain, when he was sad, when he missed his mother or when he felt alone, like right now.

His mother had been right about the rain. It could take a lot of your pain, but not all of it. And that was what he hated about it.

So many bad things had happened to him in the years after his mother's death, some of which he could never talk to anyone outside the team about. There was so much pain inside of him, so much blood on his hands. Maybe it was too much for the rain to take it all away.

He looked down on his hands, and for one second, he thought he saw blood on them. Blood that was spilled in Trucial Abysmia and in Norway. The blood of Hammer Team.

It seemed as if it had been sucked into his skin. He had scrubbed his hands so thoroughly that that he had started to bleed himself. But all he wanted was to feel clean for once, even if it just lasted for a few moments. He just couldn't go on like this for much longer.

Slowly, he leaned his head, letting the rain wash over his face. God, he was yearning for relief, for just one moment where he could be this little boy again who danced with his mother, free of all worries and sorrows.

Suddenly, the rain seemed to stop. He opened his eyes and found himself staring at the underside of an umbrella.

"Conrad?" a soft female voice asked. For a second, he expected to see his mother next to him, but instead he looked into the face of a young woman.

"Are you okay?" she asked, worry clear in her voice. "You're gonna catch your catch your death if you stay out here any longer in this rain."

Conrad gave her a sad smile. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

She knew him better than he thought. It always surprised him.

"No," he heard himself say. "But I will be."

He could see in her eyes that she didn't quite believe him, hell, he didn't believe himself either.

But he knew that he could do something about it.

"Shana, would you like to dance with me?"

"What?"

"Dance with me, please?"

"Here? Now?"

He just nodded and held his hands out to her. For a second he wondered if she thought he'd lost his mind, or whatever was left of it. But then, she suddenly closed the umbrella and put it aside. Then she took his hands and allowed him to lead her into a slow waltz.

As he whirled around, Shana suddenly started to laugh. He laughed hearing that. He knew Shana had her own problems, but she also had the strength after helping Snake-Eyes fight his demons to still be able to laugh from her heart. He wished he had a bit of that strength in himself.

Maybe one day he would. But until then, he would seek for relief in the rain.


End file.
